Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
