Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
