so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
