that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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