Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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