I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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