I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
