Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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