you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Michael Bay diarrhea
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This is classic penis vs brain.
this is an emotional support booty call
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dear god my vagina.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
