He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
