Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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