my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
