I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just cut my nipple shaving
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
