flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize