At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
