The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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