I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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