hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
