Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
