He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
