did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
