Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
