absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
