come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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