420 ftw
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This is my gift to your gina
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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