Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
