a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
