i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
