We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
