So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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