you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
