Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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