I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
