I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
