First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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