I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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