This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
