How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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