I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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