I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
