Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
