...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
