I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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