i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
