Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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