YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
