he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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