Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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