every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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