Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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