nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
