If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
