She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
